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A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?" The father replied, "I don't know, son, I'm still paying for it."
 
Then there was a man who said, "I never knew what real happiness was until I got married; and then it was too late."
 
Scientists have discovered a certain food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%...
Wedding Cake....
 
A bride on her wedding night says to her husband "I must confess darling, I used to be a hooker!". "That's alright dear". He says "Your past is your past, but I must admit that I find it quite erotic. Tell me more about it". She replies "Well, my name was Nigel, and I used to play for Wigan !".
 
A married couple in their early 60s was out celebrating their 35th wedding anniversary in a quiet, romantic little restaurant. Suddenly, a tiny yet beautiful fairy appeared on their table and said, "For being such an exemplary married couple and for being faithful to each other for all this time, I will grant you each a wish.
"Oh, I want to travel around the world with my darling husband" said the wife. The fairy waved her magic wand and poof! - two tickets for the Queen Mary II luxury liner appeared in her hands.
Then it was the husband's turn. He thought for a moment and said: "Well, this is all very romantic, but an opportunity like this will never come again. I'm sorry my love, but my wish is to have a wife 30 years younger than me."
Both the wife and the fairy were deeply disappointed, but a wish is a wish. So the fairy waved her magic wand and - poof! - the husband became 92 years old.
 
An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a "Curse" he has been living with for many years. The Wizard says "Maybe, but you will have to tell me the exact words that were used to put the curse on you." The old man says without hesitation, "I now pronounce you man and wife."
 
Two aerials meet on a roof, fall in love get married. The ceremony was rubbish but the reception was brilliant.
 
A man meets a genie. The genie tells him he can have whatever he wants provided that his mother-in-law gets double. The man thinks for a moment and then says "OK", give me a million dollars and beat me half to death."
 
My wife only has sex with me if it suits her needs. Last night she used me to time an egg.
 
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